Sunday, October 14, 2012

Adoption #3 makes it Two More Potatoes in the Pot!

Two more little potatoes making it 9 beautiful children for the Wagner family.

Let's recap here...

We became aware of two little baby twin girls last January.  Two little girls in great need of medical attention.  Possible diagnosis: jaundice caused by either biliary atresia, Alagille Syndrome, either diagnosis resulting in a liver transplant for the 2 of them.  A calling for us.  A scream from the heart: we need help, love, come and get us Jo & Mike!  A scream from our children: GO get them mom & dad, we want them to be part of our family!  Those kids didn't fall far from the tree;)

There are many rules that apply to adoption, one being that 2 adoptions cannot take place within less than 18 months.  Toan was adopted in July 2011.  We knew we were going to have to fight a big machine to get an approval but we were determined to give it all we had.  And we did.  We never had had to justify ourselves so much before in our lives.  Why did we want to adopt two more children, why so fast, and why two children who are so sick.  A lot of back and forth questions and answers between the Ontario Ministry of Children and Youth Services and us.  But they have a job to do and in retrospect, I am happy to see that they challenged us.  Each additional question from them solidified our position and made us realize that that was really what we wanted to do.

I am thankful for amazing people around us who believed in us and supported us and pushed for us.  Our social worker, our agency who never had a doubt that we could do this.

On the other hand, there are judgements coming from all directions, directions sometimes you would not expect, but as my hubby clearly stated, the judgements of others are a clear representation of their limits.  And that is so true.  What we are doing is not for everyone.  And other people do things that are weird to us.  However, respect is what must shine through it all.  We realize that we are subject to the judgements of others and that's fine.  As long as we are comfortable with what we are doing, as long as we are certain that the other children will not suffer from this adoption, as long as we go to bed at night with the certainty that we are doing what is right, I can fight anyone.  I have stated before that my children might never have had breakfast with Mickey Mouse, but they are offered the chance to open their heart to others in need and THAT is priceless.  And yes, they will thank us later.

August 2, 2012 was a beautiful day for 2 reasons: we finally got our approval from the Ministry and a referral from the agency for two beautiful almost 17 months old twin baby girls. Finally, it became more tangible.  We got pictures and videos of our tiny little girls (not even 10 pounds in weight each), so fragile little fighters, sparkles of hope in their eyes....  Who would want to adopt them anyway.  They might not even make it.  WE ARE THE CRAZY ONES.  We are proud to be this kind of crazy.  We accepted without a blink.

I could open a big parenthesis here on our thoughts on the adoption of special needs children, and our thoughts on chosing to wait for the perfect little baby to adopt.  But I will save this for later...  And I am not ashamed of what I have to say!

October 1, 2012, was another big step for 2 reasons: we received from the Ministry our confirmation of Approval of Proposed Adoption.  Also, Article 17 Under the Hague Agreement was produced.  This article 17 letter basically provides approval for the specifically proposed children to be entrusted to us, my husband and I.  It also determines that the children are eligible to be admitted into Canada, according to Citizenship and Immigration Canada.

The children are in an orphanage in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon).  Our two previous adoptions took place in Vung Tau province.  Setting up a ceremony tends to take a little longer from HCMC province but we got word on Thanksgiving weekend that our ceremony had already been scheduled for October 26.  Pretty fast!  Thanksgiving is lucky for us.  We received the proposal for our first adopted child on Thanksgiving weekend 2008.

After securing our flights and setting up our plans, we received the news that the ceremony had been postponed to November 5.  Flexibility is the key here!  When you are so close to your goal it can get frustrating but I guess that was nothing compared to all the challenges we have had to face so far for our girls;)

So November 5 it is, Giving and Receiving Ceremony in Saigon, Vietnam!!!


  1. Looking forward to following your journey!!

  2. Congratulations!
    From another large adoptive family (10 bio, 5 adopted, plus one more on the way from VN!)

    1. Wow! That's a big potato pot! Which agency did you adopt with? Are all your kids from Vietnam? Where is your little one in Vietnam, did you actually have a referral yet? Wonderful!

    2. What is your email address? (And yes, it is wonderful! We are beyond blessed!)

    3. Julie do you have a blog for us to also follow?

    4. No blog, maybe some day...
      Thanks to all of you who do share your journey this way!