As our travel date is getting closer and closer, I have to pinch myself to make sure this is not a dream. This is our 3rd adoption and it might be the last. I am trying to live every moment like I did towards the end of my last 2 pregnancies, realizing that we were getting towards the end of the belly baby era. Will this be the end of the adoption era, only time will tell. But all I can say is that I am grateful, and for so many reasons.
Grateful that I woke up some day and decided to get a grip on my health, losing the weight and after taking to running.
Grateful for those running friends I met and with whom I conquered distances I never thought I would be able to achieve. Can't wait to reach my marathon goal with them in 2013. You running buddies mean a lot to me.
Grateful for friends who have been so generous in helping us get ready for those twins, or who are there to listen to us without judging us. They like our kind of craziness.
Grateful for newer friends who are opening their hearts to us and with whom we feel so at ease, confirming to us that friendship goes well beyond the barriers of race or religion. We love you guys.
Grateful for amazing children who display such a huge openness of heart and mind and trust us through this big adventure.
Grateful for all the people involved in our adoption file and who are dedicated to the cause of orphans. Thank you for once again helping us reach our dream.
Grateful that I have everything anyone could wish for: a roof over my head, a loving bunch of children, a loving husband, food on my plate, heat, water, democracy. Wehave it all and we still want more.
And above it all, grateful that I showed up in that place in Aug 1994 and met my life partner, my partner in crime, the guy who is crazy enough to share the same dreams. Nothing can stop us and it is the most comforting feeling one can have. The guy who can potentially drive me nuts the most and who I know enough to drive equally crazy;) I love him more than words can tell and him and I will be the oldest 2 globetrotters, watch us!
Packing is almost all done, amazing what a Logistics officer can put in suitcases;)
Monday, October 22, 2012
Friday, October 19, 2012
What should we bring?
The baggage allowance with your airline will greatly influence how much you can take with you. As this is our 3rd adoption, and since this time we are talking about twins who are older than our previously adopted children at time of adoption, we will have to do things a little differently this time. Mainly for comfort for us. We are getting older and crabbier ;) I guess!!!
All kidding aside, we decided this time that we will bring 2 umbrella strollers for the hotel, where the babies can nap by the pool or during meals if they are not up to eating. Mainly a place to put them down by our side. Now, don't think that you can actually use strollers in Saigon. Sidewalks are very busy with mopeds, people squatting preparing meals, vendors... With that being said, it is almost a necessity to have a baby carrier with you. It also helps parents and baby bond together and keeps baby safe close to you. I love my sling, in fact, all my children have been carried in a sling. Michael does not care for it, so I went to a consignement shop and got him a Baby Bjorn, never used for $15. We will each carry a baby on us and switch from time to time. Since our switch in Taipei is relatively short on the way back, I will probably donate the strollers to the hotel to be used by other families. No need to bring them back.
Here is a list of a few things I can think of that we will put in our luggage:
-bubble wrap and tape (to wrap breakables on the way back)
-baby cereals and jars of prunes to beat constipation
-baby Tylenol, Advil, nail clippers, a good all-in-one cream (I like Bobos Cream from Souris Verte)
-Rescue remedy (for baby anxiety, even good for parents...!)
-Vitarom Formule 1 for upper respiratory infections: a lot of ba bies end up being a little bit sick when they come out of the orphanage
-Nix cream (4 tubes in our case) to treat scabies: yes, often the little darlings have scabies so you have to treat baby and yourself as well. Don't fret, you will survive this!
-Diapers: we decided to bring our, if they fit in the luggage. Mainly because we already had them
-wipes
-baby formula: we do not believe it is a good idea to switch their main source of nutrition while over there. Plan on bringing back formula to transition once home.
-bottles: see what they are used to at the orphanage and buy a few over there. Transition once back home.
-baby toothbrushes and toothpaste
-nailpolish to distinguish the 2 twin girls!!!
-baby clothes: we think 4 changes of clothes is enough for each girl as we will wash every day over there. Swimmers for the pool are great!
-a warmer outfit for the trip back on the plane, preferably footless as often, the children are not used to wearing stuff on their feet. Michael ended up having to cut the ends of Logan's pj on the flight back! Socks are easier to remove!
-our personal meds and also Imodium (ya just never know when the pipes might start banging...), melatonine (helps reset the clocks), but a lot of stuff is available over there so don't overstuff your luggage.
In addition to all that, you also need to think of gifts for different people over there: the orphanage director, the vice-director, the people working for the agency over there, the nannies who took care of your child(ren). Your agency will be your best bet to get suggestions and guidance.
We also are bringing with us cases of chalk for the children of the 2 orphanages we will be visiting. They should have a lot of fun with that!
We also prepare a binder with all the relevant paperwork we need to bring with us.
As far as clothing for yourself goes, you must investigate what the customs of the country you are visiting are in order to avoid offending local people.
That's it for now, I am sure I will think of more stuff I forgot!
All kidding aside, we decided this time that we will bring 2 umbrella strollers for the hotel, where the babies can nap by the pool or during meals if they are not up to eating. Mainly a place to put them down by our side. Now, don't think that you can actually use strollers in Saigon. Sidewalks are very busy with mopeds, people squatting preparing meals, vendors... With that being said, it is almost a necessity to have a baby carrier with you. It also helps parents and baby bond together and keeps baby safe close to you. I love my sling, in fact, all my children have been carried in a sling. Michael does not care for it, so I went to a consignement shop and got him a Baby Bjorn, never used for $15. We will each carry a baby on us and switch from time to time. Since our switch in Taipei is relatively short on the way back, I will probably donate the strollers to the hotel to be used by other families. No need to bring them back.
Here is a list of a few things I can think of that we will put in our luggage:
-bubble wrap and tape (to wrap breakables on the way back)
-baby cereals and jars of prunes to beat constipation
-baby Tylenol, Advil, nail clippers, a good all-in-one cream (I like Bobos Cream from Souris Verte)
-Rescue remedy (for baby anxiety, even good for parents...!)
-Vitarom Formule 1 for upper respiratory infections: a lot of ba bies end up being a little bit sick when they come out of the orphanage
-Nix cream (4 tubes in our case) to treat scabies: yes, often the little darlings have scabies so you have to treat baby and yourself as well. Don't fret, you will survive this!
-Diapers: we decided to bring our, if they fit in the luggage. Mainly because we already had them
-wipes
-baby formula: we do not believe it is a good idea to switch their main source of nutrition while over there. Plan on bringing back formula to transition once home.
-bottles: see what they are used to at the orphanage and buy a few over there. Transition once back home.
-baby toothbrushes and toothpaste
-nailpolish to distinguish the 2 twin girls!!!
-baby clothes: we think 4 changes of clothes is enough for each girl as we will wash every day over there. Swimmers for the pool are great!
-a warmer outfit for the trip back on the plane, preferably footless as often, the children are not used to wearing stuff on their feet. Michael ended up having to cut the ends of Logan's pj on the flight back! Socks are easier to remove!
-our personal meds and also Imodium (ya just never know when the pipes might start banging...), melatonine (helps reset the clocks), but a lot of stuff is available over there so don't overstuff your luggage.
In addition to all that, you also need to think of gifts for different people over there: the orphanage director, the vice-director, the people working for the agency over there, the nannies who took care of your child(ren). Your agency will be your best bet to get suggestions and guidance.
We also are bringing with us cases of chalk for the children of the 2 orphanages we will be visiting. They should have a lot of fun with that!
We also prepare a binder with all the relevant paperwork we need to bring with us.
As far as clothing for yourself goes, you must investigate what the customs of the country you are visiting are in order to avoid offending local people.
That's it for now, I am sure I will think of more stuff I forgot!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
''Getting Ready'' part 2
As I was driving this morning and thinking about my very long to-do list, I realized I omitted a couple important points.
Adoptive parents who are asking for a Canadian passport for an adopted child while abroad must produce a list of references of people who will act as guarantors. These people will be contacted by the Canadian consulate to verify your identity and that they are aware that an adoption procedure is taking place. So 4 references of people who know you well and are not family members. You must have in hand their full names, of course ;) and complete address and telephone numbers they may be reached at.
We also made sure that the household is in order. First and most important, we redid our wills. We also prepared a ''Family Binder'' with all kind of important information in regards to how the family works: important phone numbers, health info on the children including a plastic sheet with slots for health cards, family schedule with all extra-curricular activities, school calendar and contact, library passes and gym passes. I made sure I emailed all the teachers to let them know what was happening.
Contacting the institutions where you have your credit cards to let them know about transactions that will take place in a different setting is also a good idea.
Travel insurance: some credit cards carry a good one, but there is also Blue Cross for a minimal fee.
We filled the freezers to the brim and I also secured a cleaning service to come to the house the day before we come back.
Being organized is the key!
Adoptive parents who are asking for a Canadian passport for an adopted child while abroad must produce a list of references of people who will act as guarantors. These people will be contacted by the Canadian consulate to verify your identity and that they are aware that an adoption procedure is taking place. So 4 references of people who know you well and are not family members. You must have in hand their full names, of course ;) and complete address and telephone numbers they may be reached at.
We also made sure that the household is in order. First and most important, we redid our wills. We also prepared a ''Family Binder'' with all kind of important information in regards to how the family works: important phone numbers, health info on the children including a plastic sheet with slots for health cards, family schedule with all extra-curricular activities, school calendar and contact, library passes and gym passes. I made sure I emailed all the teachers to let them know what was happening.
Contacting the institutions where you have your credit cards to let them know about transactions that will take place in a different setting is also a good idea.
Travel insurance: some credit cards carry a good one, but there is also Blue Cross for a minimal fee.
We filled the freezers to the brim and I also secured a cleaning service to come to the house the day before we come back.
Being organized is the key!
What's in ''Getting Ready''???
You can't go and travel halfway around the world to go get one or two babies on a whim. In addition to all the paperwork required and all the procedures one has to go through *before* getting a referral for a child, there is still a lot to think about when comes the time to get ready for the travel. I thought I would sum up what has been done so far as it could possibly help people who are at their first adoption experience.
While waiting for the referral, we made sure all our vaccination was up-to-date and went for some updates. The travellers' clinic here in Kingston was a good point of reference. We yet have to take our dose of Dukoral to help prevent traveller's diarrhea. Since we both have used it within the last 5 years, we only need the one dose. If you have never used it, you need 2 doses so planning ahead is a good idea.
Michael and I have opted to take the malaria medication as we might travel off the beaten paths. Maybe we are being extra cautious but hey...
As soon as we got our Giving and Receiving ceremony date, I contacted the travel agent to book our tickets and arrange to get our visas. The travel agent suggested by the agency offers an excellent service. Some people want to nickel and dime with their tickets and end up running into trouble if they want to change their return dates. We will only be an email away from being able to change our dates if the procedures go faster than we anticipate in Vietnam. The travel agency has made a lot of arrangements for adoptions before and you have to put your trust in them.
Also, for parents who travel alone while the other parent stays behind, you may have to complete power of attorneys that will have to be certified by the embassy here in Canada. It is the case for Vietnam.
As far as the hotel goes in Vietnam, again, following the advice of the agency is your best bet. The agency refers mainly to the one hotel/resort with which they have a long standing relastionship and a fair deal. Also, people tend to forget that if everyone goes to the same place, it makes it a lot easier on the very dedicated person who works for the agency over there. She is extremely graceful and takes a lot from people. However, she is not there to service us, she is there to help us and it is our duty as adoptive parents to take our responsibilities and help her help us. The Somerset Ho Chi Minh has a lot to offer. A beautiful pool, friendly people who work there, nice gym facilities, very clean, and the food is good.
About the food: when in Vietnam, you should not expect to have North American food like you would have here. As I always say to my children, ''when in Rome, do like the Romans''. When in Vietnam, embrace the adventure and take it all in. That's my thought anyway.
One last point, a very important one for parents who decide to travel alone while the other parent stays home: when comes the time to ask for the Canadian passport for the child, the parent who stays behind will have to go to a passport office in Canada to sign a consent form PPT 028 while the other parent is in the country where the adoption is taking place. Canada will then fax the signed form to the country.
That's it for now, next post will be about ''What to Bring???''
While waiting for the referral, we made sure all our vaccination was up-to-date and went for some updates. The travellers' clinic here in Kingston was a good point of reference. We yet have to take our dose of Dukoral to help prevent traveller's diarrhea. Since we both have used it within the last 5 years, we only need the one dose. If you have never used it, you need 2 doses so planning ahead is a good idea.
Michael and I have opted to take the malaria medication as we might travel off the beaten paths. Maybe we are being extra cautious but hey...
As soon as we got our Giving and Receiving ceremony date, I contacted the travel agent to book our tickets and arrange to get our visas. The travel agent suggested by the agency offers an excellent service. Some people want to nickel and dime with their tickets and end up running into trouble if they want to change their return dates. We will only be an email away from being able to change our dates if the procedures go faster than we anticipate in Vietnam. The travel agency has made a lot of arrangements for adoptions before and you have to put your trust in them.
Also, for parents who travel alone while the other parent stays behind, you may have to complete power of attorneys that will have to be certified by the embassy here in Canada. It is the case for Vietnam.
As far as the hotel goes in Vietnam, again, following the advice of the agency is your best bet. The agency refers mainly to the one hotel/resort with which they have a long standing relastionship and a fair deal. Also, people tend to forget that if everyone goes to the same place, it makes it a lot easier on the very dedicated person who works for the agency over there. She is extremely graceful and takes a lot from people. However, she is not there to service us, she is there to help us and it is our duty as adoptive parents to take our responsibilities and help her help us. The Somerset Ho Chi Minh has a lot to offer. A beautiful pool, friendly people who work there, nice gym facilities, very clean, and the food is good.
About the food: when in Vietnam, you should not expect to have North American food like you would have here. As I always say to my children, ''when in Rome, do like the Romans''. When in Vietnam, embrace the adventure and take it all in. That's my thought anyway.
One last point, a very important one for parents who decide to travel alone while the other parent stays home: when comes the time to ask for the Canadian passport for the child, the parent who stays behind will have to go to a passport office in Canada to sign a consent form PPT 028 while the other parent is in the country where the adoption is taking place. Canada will then fax the signed form to the country.
That's it for now, next post will be about ''What to Bring???''
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Adoption #3 makes it Two More Potatoes in the Pot!
Two more little potatoes making it 9 beautiful children for the Wagner family.
Let's recap here...
We became aware of two little baby twin girls last January. Two little girls in great need of medical attention. Possible diagnosis: jaundice caused by either biliary atresia, Alagille Syndrome, either diagnosis resulting in a liver transplant for the 2 of them. A calling for us. A scream from the heart: we need help, love, come and get us Jo & Mike! A scream from our children: GO get them mom & dad, we want them to be part of our family! Those kids didn't fall far from the tree;)
There are many rules that apply to adoption, one being that 2 adoptions cannot take place within less than 18 months. Toan was adopted in July 2011. We knew we were going to have to fight a big machine to get an approval but we were determined to give it all we had. And we did. We never had had to justify ourselves so much before in our lives. Why did we want to adopt two more children, why so fast, and why two children who are so sick. A lot of back and forth questions and answers between the Ontario Ministry of Children and Youth Services and us. But they have a job to do and in retrospect, I am happy to see that they challenged us. Each additional question from them solidified our position and made us realize that that was really what we wanted to do.
I am thankful for amazing people around us who believed in us and supported us and pushed for us. Our social worker, our agency who never had a doubt that we could do this.
On the other hand, there are judgements coming from all directions, directions sometimes you would not expect, but as my hubby clearly stated, the judgements of others are a clear representation of their limits. And that is so true. What we are doing is not for everyone. And other people do things that are weird to us. However, respect is what must shine through it all. We realize that we are subject to the judgements of others and that's fine. As long as we are comfortable with what we are doing, as long as we are certain that the other children will not suffer from this adoption, as long as we go to bed at night with the certainty that we are doing what is right, I can fight anyone. I have stated before that my children might never have had breakfast with Mickey Mouse, but they are offered the chance to open their heart to others in need and THAT is priceless. And yes, they will thank us later.
August 2, 2012 was a beautiful day for 2 reasons: we finally got our approval from the Ministry and a referral from the agency for two beautiful almost 17 months old twin baby girls. Finally, it became more tangible. We got pictures and videos of our tiny little girls (not even 10 pounds in weight each), so fragile little fighters, sparkles of hope in their eyes.... Who would want to adopt them anyway. They might not even make it. WE ARE THE CRAZY ONES. We are proud to be this kind of crazy. We accepted without a blink.
I could open a big parenthesis here on our thoughts on the adoption of special needs children, and our thoughts on chosing to wait for the perfect little baby to adopt. But I will save this for later... And I am not ashamed of what I have to say!
October 1, 2012, was another big step for 2 reasons: we received from the Ministry our confirmation of Approval of Proposed Adoption. Also, Article 17 Under the Hague Agreement was produced. This article 17 letter basically provides approval for the specifically proposed children to be entrusted to us, my husband and I. It also determines that the children are eligible to be admitted into Canada, according to Citizenship and Immigration Canada.
The children are in an orphanage in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon). Our two previous adoptions took place in Vung Tau province. Setting up a ceremony tends to take a little longer from HCMC province but we got word on Thanksgiving weekend that our ceremony had already been scheduled for October 26. Pretty fast! Thanksgiving is lucky for us. We received the proposal for our first adopted child on Thanksgiving weekend 2008.
After securing our flights and setting up our plans, we received the news that the ceremony had been postponed to November 5. Flexibility is the key here! When you are so close to your goal it can get frustrating but I guess that was nothing compared to all the challenges we have had to face so far for our girls;)
So November 5 it is, Giving and Receiving Ceremony in Saigon, Vietnam!!!
Let's recap here...
We became aware of two little baby twin girls last January. Two little girls in great need of medical attention. Possible diagnosis: jaundice caused by either biliary atresia, Alagille Syndrome, either diagnosis resulting in a liver transplant for the 2 of them. A calling for us. A scream from the heart: we need help, love, come and get us Jo & Mike! A scream from our children: GO get them mom & dad, we want them to be part of our family! Those kids didn't fall far from the tree;)
There are many rules that apply to adoption, one being that 2 adoptions cannot take place within less than 18 months. Toan was adopted in July 2011. We knew we were going to have to fight a big machine to get an approval but we were determined to give it all we had. And we did. We never had had to justify ourselves so much before in our lives. Why did we want to adopt two more children, why so fast, and why two children who are so sick. A lot of back and forth questions and answers between the Ontario Ministry of Children and Youth Services and us. But they have a job to do and in retrospect, I am happy to see that they challenged us. Each additional question from them solidified our position and made us realize that that was really what we wanted to do.
I am thankful for amazing people around us who believed in us and supported us and pushed for us. Our social worker, our agency who never had a doubt that we could do this.
On the other hand, there are judgements coming from all directions, directions sometimes you would not expect, but as my hubby clearly stated, the judgements of others are a clear representation of their limits. And that is so true. What we are doing is not for everyone. And other people do things that are weird to us. However, respect is what must shine through it all. We realize that we are subject to the judgements of others and that's fine. As long as we are comfortable with what we are doing, as long as we are certain that the other children will not suffer from this adoption, as long as we go to bed at night with the certainty that we are doing what is right, I can fight anyone. I have stated before that my children might never have had breakfast with Mickey Mouse, but they are offered the chance to open their heart to others in need and THAT is priceless. And yes, they will thank us later.
August 2, 2012 was a beautiful day for 2 reasons: we finally got our approval from the Ministry and a referral from the agency for two beautiful almost 17 months old twin baby girls. Finally, it became more tangible. We got pictures and videos of our tiny little girls (not even 10 pounds in weight each), so fragile little fighters, sparkles of hope in their eyes.... Who would want to adopt them anyway. They might not even make it. WE ARE THE CRAZY ONES. We are proud to be this kind of crazy. We accepted without a blink.
I could open a big parenthesis here on our thoughts on the adoption of special needs children, and our thoughts on chosing to wait for the perfect little baby to adopt. But I will save this for later... And I am not ashamed of what I have to say!
October 1, 2012, was another big step for 2 reasons: we received from the Ministry our confirmation of Approval of Proposed Adoption. Also, Article 17 Under the Hague Agreement was produced. This article 17 letter basically provides approval for the specifically proposed children to be entrusted to us, my husband and I. It also determines that the children are eligible to be admitted into Canada, according to Citizenship and Immigration Canada.
The children are in an orphanage in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon). Our two previous adoptions took place in Vung Tau province. Setting up a ceremony tends to take a little longer from HCMC province but we got word on Thanksgiving weekend that our ceremony had already been scheduled for October 26. Pretty fast! Thanksgiving is lucky for us. We received the proposal for our first adopted child on Thanksgiving weekend 2008.
After securing our flights and setting up our plans, we received the news that the ceremony had been postponed to November 5. Flexibility is the key here! When you are so close to your goal it can get frustrating but I guess that was nothing compared to all the challenges we have had to face so far for our girls;)
So November 5 it is, Giving and Receiving Ceremony in Saigon, Vietnam!!!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
So busy!
Hello all!
Well, as you can guess, I am busy. Kids will be going back to school on Monday, so only 3 boys left at home with me.
Toan is doing very well: he has managed to gain enough weight to fit in the growth charts, quite an accomplishment! We met with the surgeon yesterday and he will be undergoing surgery very soon for his undescended testicles. It looks like they will have to remove the right one because it never got a chance to develop properly, and therefore puts him at risk for testicular cancer. He should be ''functional'' with only one ;)
He is a going concern: follows his siblings everywhere, including up the stairs. He is a curious little boy, very determined to get what he wants, even if it means almost killing himself in the process! A real little 14 months old boy! He is cruising everywhere but has not attempted yet to let go to free stand. That will come in time! He will start occupational therapy soon and we have a multi-disciplinary meeting in October to talk about Cerebral Palsy. It could take between 6 months to a full year to establish a diagnosis.
Nights are going so well! He starts his night in the playpen in our room and when he wakes up, usually around 10h00 or 11h00, we take him in bed between us. We need to catch up on cuddling, we missed a whole year!
I received his permanent passport and I am waiting for his citizenship card. This is another adoption success story: it's like he had always been with us!
Well, as you can guess, I am busy. Kids will be going back to school on Monday, so only 3 boys left at home with me.
Toan is doing very well: he has managed to gain enough weight to fit in the growth charts, quite an accomplishment! We met with the surgeon yesterday and he will be undergoing surgery very soon for his undescended testicles. It looks like they will have to remove the right one because it never got a chance to develop properly, and therefore puts him at risk for testicular cancer. He should be ''functional'' with only one ;)
He is a going concern: follows his siblings everywhere, including up the stairs. He is a curious little boy, very determined to get what he wants, even if it means almost killing himself in the process! A real little 14 months old boy! He is cruising everywhere but has not attempted yet to let go to free stand. That will come in time! He will start occupational therapy soon and we have a multi-disciplinary meeting in October to talk about Cerebral Palsy. It could take between 6 months to a full year to establish a diagnosis.
Nights are going so well! He starts his night in the playpen in our room and when he wakes up, usually around 10h00 or 11h00, we take him in bed between us. We need to catch up on cuddling, we missed a whole year!
I received his permanent passport and I am waiting for his citizenship card. This is another adoption success story: it's like he had always been with us!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)